Seems like all writing prompts get to this question rather quickly. Is it because you can’t write anything until you deal with your fear or because it is encouraging or titillating? I think it can be all of those. Fear is normal and to a certain extent, fear is healthy. It keeps us from doing things we ought not do sometimes or warns us of danger up ahead. I would like to think it is different from things I do not look forward to like losing my spouse or any other family or getting so feeble I can’t take care of myself.
At school sometimes we get a child who is particularly anxious. Last year I had a child who was perfect in every way but there were days she wailed and wailed for her mother (kindergarten). The second time we knew we could not call her mother and we did come up with a plan. I just don’t know where that comes from. Another child clung and cried to his mother every morning for months. I tried to be sympathetic. I just don’t walk around with that level of anxiety. I do lock my doors at night.
While I was trying to feel sympathy for my younguns we went to my daughter’s for Christmas. Near Boston. On our our way home, the day after Christmas, it started to flurry. The weather had been so nice, we hadn’t thought to check it before we left. It continued to increase. We decided we were through with driving in the snow and we were going to take the next exit. This is in Connecticut. It took us three hours to get to the next exit. My prayer was , “God, get us out of this!” I wondered if my little ones’ fear felt like that that all the time.
I love snow when I am not driving in it. There is no rest until I or the Man of the Place is safe at home. I grew up in Iowa and I had a Dad who drove anytime , anywhere. The was before ATVs. Even before front weel drive! He got studded tires and chains and he could go anywhere. He did drive carefully, but one day on the way to school he missed a 90 degree curve and slipped into the ditch. He stepped on the gas to drive out (because he had chains on the tires!)! it didn’t work. We had to push it out, and we did. We settled back in and my little sister looked up at him and said, “Daddy, what was that word you said just before we went onto the ditch?” Dad had two words. One was cottonpicker and the other was fiddlesticks. Oh, and the rest of us were not in the ‘drive out of the ditch’ plan. We were just bumping along in a station wagon in a ditch. It’s not an amusement park ride!
I guess it is the fear of being out of contol of myself. Things are happening and I am just there, not being able to do anything. I remember watching the hurricane, Katrina, and thinking if all I had was my two feet, I would be booking it out of there, and there were lots of people who couldn’t see that far. But sometimes we are just caught and all we can do is pray and remember that God is in control. Sometimes that takes a lot of effort. It’s a snowy, icy Saturday. I am staying home.